The Adventures of the Giant Banana Holding a Taco

Once upon a time there was a banana. He was a very hungry banana. One day the King of Foodlandia summoned Banana to his castle. Banana left his home and began his quest to the castle. He past the Green fields of Celery Ranch, the purple bushes of the Grape Manor and the Tomato Sauce river.

Finally he arrived at the castle there he met the King of Foodlandia, King Nohansen Hot Pocket who informed him of a great evil that was threatening the kingdom. It was the rebel mushroom army coming to destroy the kingdom and eat king Hot Pocket for dinner… (It’s a normal thing in Foodlandia you do it when you win a war)… (Plus Hot pockets are delicious)

“What do you want me to do Sir” Said Banana

“I want you to find the magical Taco Sword, I believe that you Banana are the chosen hero that will save us from the wrath of the Mushroom Kingdom. Take this Granny Smith apple, When you hold it up to the Taco It well test your worthiness then you can become a true Foodlandian Hero…”.

“I will try my hardest my king…” Said Banana.

So he left on his quest to find the holy taco blade, he left with nothing but a little carrot sword and a waffle shield. Eventually he came across the Dry rice desert. It was said that there was a terrible beast guarding a magic treasure. Banana thought that it wouldn’t hurt nobody if he just casually hunted the beast (except for maybe the beast) to acquire the treasure. He hunted for the temple where it is said that the beast lay sleeping waiting for some idiot to challenge it. Finally after an arduous trek through the desert, Banana found the fabled Popsicle stick tower.

The tower Once a place of Worship to the Seed Gods, was now an old moldy looking tower with little splints of wood sticking out that could easily give someone a splinter. Banana fought hard to get through the waves of undead pickle people finally making it to the top of the tower. Banana was met with a terrible sight. From the ground came a giant beast with more bumps and little flavor stuff all over it than any one could imagine, it was a giant rice cake!

“How dare you come to interrupt my slumber!” said the rice cake.

“I seek the treasure which you guard!” Said Banana.

“Wait you really think I’m just gonna give it to you, it’s kinda implied in the phrase guarding it… I mean seriously dude just cut to the chase and-…” Sadly the Rice cake had like no peripheral vision so Banana just kinda stabbed him in the butt before he could finish his sentence.

After defeating the rice cake a chest magically appeared over his dead body. So Banana went to it and decided to see what was inside. He opened the chest and a glowing object that was almost blinding his vision came into sight. It was a very bright light bulb so he just grabbed it and chucked it out of his way so he could get to the real treasure. It was… It was… A smaller chest… So he opened that and pulled out… a slightly smaller chest… and inside that chest there was a… Pretzel stick! Banana had heard the legends of the pretzel stick. It was a gift from the seed gods, said to have the ability to summon broccoli servants which would do the wielders bidding.

“Sweet! now I have someone to massage my feet and feed me shrimp at the same time!” said Banana. So with his new found treasure Banana headed off once again on his quest for the Taco blade wondering what wonders he will encounter next…

To be Continued…

A Day In The Life of Mr. Flankin

Hay Bale Mr. Flankin woke up on his small uncomfortable wooden bed, in his small and smelly old farm shack. He got out of bed and slipped on his patched up denim overalls and put a piece of hay in his mouth. He then went on to grab his pitchfork and eat his breakfast which was the piece of hay he had in his mouth earlier. Mr. Flankin was your average time traveling, rainbow barfing, putting on sun glasses while walking away from an explosions, American farmer kinda guy. Although he was of the age 9001 he could still run faster then the speed of sound while maintaining your classic old man slouch. While farming his whole 2 square inches of farm land, he had to stop to take a nap because of the intense labor.

After he finished his nap and completed his farming in a mere one and a half hours, Mr. Flankin met up with his arch nemesis. Josh the giant man tiger! They chatted over coffee about politics and the weather. After they had finished their coffee Mr. Flankin had secretly implanted a small plasma implosion device into Josh’s coffee causing Josh to implode. Josh suddenly found himself in a universe filled with giant man animals. “It’s better for you this way…” said Mr. Flankin. The Coffee shop then exploded with no one in side and Mr. Flankin used his time powers to make the world slow motion, he then put his sunglasses on and walked away from the exploding coffee shop. Mr. Flankin had grew tired he was up past his bedtime, it was now three o’clock in the day. So Mr. Flankin slipped off his overalls and went to sleep.

The End.

So that was a thing! Tell me if you wanna see more SUPER random stuff like this. For this one I literally just took an inside joke between me and my friends and turned it into a random story.
So tell me if you would want to see more stuff like this in the future and maybe I’ll grab another inside joke and turn it into a story or make another story about Mr. Flankin.
Bye-Bye!

rob pughsley via Compfight

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me and My Shadow

Hello everyone reading this!

A few days ago our class learned about how to draw shadows and we made art projects. The idea is to take a picture of us in real life and then draw a shadow behind us of any thing we want. There was actually a couple people that made there shadow into a dinosaur and one person that made there shadow into a pony. MAGIC… Personally I made my shadow into a cartoon version of me holding a sword in the air. So all that aside let’s get right into talking about how I did it and some of my favorite parts about it.

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We started off by drawing a line to define the wall that we would stand in front of and the ground, we then took pictures of our selves in real life and then gluing them onto the paper that we were doing our project on. After we finished that we drew lines leading from our feet to the beginning of the wall and then drawing our shadow from the feet up.of course before we went shading in a portion of the wall in a vague shape of what you wanted your shadow to be we outlined the shadow and then colored it in with a pencil or black pencil crayon and with our shading style of choice. I chose cross hatching, a shading technique where you fill in the area of the shade a.k.a our entire shadow and then go over the lines that you made already by making a x pattern basically everywhere.

Next: The wall, the wall it self at first looks like just a blank slate with a shadow and a line on the bottom, but after a while and a bit of hard work it could look like the side of a castle wall or a brick wall of a building down town. So the wall is kind of hard to explain how to do it so I’ll just tell you how I did it. At first I was having a little trouble figuring out what to do for my wall so I asked my teacher Ms. Smith and she asked me what do you picture your imagination as and so I responded, “A dark crumbling place where no man shall ever go and return the same”. So she suggested that I make my wall as the crumbling ruins of a castle. So that’s what I did! I drew multiple patches of bricks instead of the whole wall because I was kinda pressed for time and I just added a bunch of detail to each brick to make it look as fancy as I could. I then gave the wall a top to make it look more castle like. and last but not least I made a gate way to the inside of the castle surrounded by bricks that turned out pretty good.

Now let’s have a moment of selfishness and talk about what the all important ME had to think about the project and what my favorite parts where. First of all just kidding about the all important ME part your probably just as awesome as me and if not more. Second of all! I’d like to start by saying I like the idea that Ms. Smith gave me of having my wall as a castle because it fits my shadow having a sword in hand it makes the medieval feel even better. Next I also think that defining certain areas of the shadow more then the rest, like I did with the fingers it was a good idea because it makes the hands look like more then just a ball. Last but not least I also like the similarities between my real life picture and my shadow, I made my shadow into almost the exact same pose as I had my picture taken in. Although I’m not very good at drawing realistic people or things so that’s why the head is so big and the body looks so cartoon like.

In conclusion I think I did pretty good on this project the only things that I would change if I did this again in the future is try to make a realistic body and make the top of the wall a bit better. So anyways if you did this project in school what would you make your shadow into? and maybe you’ve already done this project or something like it if so what did you do? Well I think that just about raps up my post about my shadow project I hoped you enjoyed reading this and maybe this will inspire you to make your own Me and My Shadow thingy. Well I’m done here don’t forget to leave a comment and Bye-Bye!

Oh and by the way here’s a random edited version of my picture just cause I felt like it.shadow 2

Top Ten WORST Zelda Items (Part two)

Hello and welcome to part two of my 10 worst Zelda items list! I don’t have anything else to say so… Let’s go!!!

4. The Bait, Legend of Zelda, The Bait is very useful in some games especially the Windwaker, but in the first Legend of Zelda all it’s used for is to distract certain enemies and to feed a hungry Goyera in level 7. That’s about it…

 

3. The Picto Box, WindWaker, This wasn’t a bad idea in fact I love using this item but it’s still pretty useless. With gorgeous scenery and a lush art style, Nintendo probably wanted to let players take some mementos. No what sets this item apart is that it’s actually an upgrade to a previous Picto Box. The game had an entire Picto Box side quest to earn the right to take color photos when the entire point was to accent the colorful world.

2. The Magic armor, Twilight Princess, It runs on ruppee’s and costs 5000 ruppee’s and the ability to buy it costs sooooo many ruppee’s… That is all…

1. Bear minimum, TriForce Heroes, All this costume does is make Link take double damage and permanently deplete his hearts by one until he changes… WORST ITEM EVER!!!TFH Link Bear Minimum Digs Model.png

So anyways that’s my list of the WORST Zelda items. If you play the legend of Zelda what in you opinion is the most useless item? Anyways… Leave a comment and stuff like that and…
Bye-Bye!

 

Early Humans What Would You Be?

Hello everyone reading this!

Today as you can see from the title I’m gonna be talking about early humans but not just your typical “they were hairy…” NO these facts are gonna be interesting! I’m gonna talk about the 4 stages of human evolution that came before Homo Sapiens. Then I’m gonna say which one I would like to be, based on the facts and traits and then you can say which one YOU would want to be in the comments. So without further a do do heh heh I said do do… Let’s go!

#1: Australopithecus: (a) Height: Males average 4 ft 11 in (151 cm) Females: average 3 ft 5 in (105 cm) Weight: Males average 92 lbs (42 kg) Females average 64 lbs (29 kg.
(b) Australopithecus like chimpanzees grew rapidly after birth and reach adulthood faster then humans.
(c) They’re species survived over 900’000 years over 4 times as long as us

#2: Homo Habilis: (a) Height: average 3 ft 4 in – 4 ft 5 in (100 – 135 cm)Weight: average 70 lbs (32 kg)
(b) This species has a slightly larger braincase and smaller face and teeth than in Australopithecus a.k.a they were less… um… not pretty…
(c) They lived in Eastern and Southern Africa
(d) They had long arms good for reaching branches when climbing trees

#3: Homo Erectus: (a) Height: Ranges from 4 ft 9 in – 6 ft 1 in (145 – 185 cm)Weight: Ranges from 88 – 150 lbs (40 – 68 kg)
(b) They were the first to reach modern human like body proportions
(c) They were the first species to leave Africa

#4: Neanderthal: (a)They Lived in the Ice Age
(b) They had basic weaponry and tools like spears
(c) They lived in a place called Eurasia 200’000 to 300’000 years ago.
(d) They had anti Inflammatory medicine which means that they probably had other medicines. I say probably because the only trace of medicine that people could find was anti inflammatory.

And that’s all! now based on the facts I would want to be a Neanderthal because of they’re tools and medicines. Which one would you wanna be? Well, that’s all I gotta say!
Bye-Bye!

 

 

Top Ten WORST Zelda Items (Part One)

Hello Everyone reading this!

If you have ever played the Legend of Zelda you might know that there are some pretty worthless and terrible items. So I’m gonna list off some of the WORST items EVER!!! Don’t get me wrong there are some really useful and fun to use items in the Legend of Zelda… but there are also some really bad ones… Let’s Go!

10. The Deku seeds, Ocarina of Time: The Deku seeds are the ammunition for the sling shot that Link uses as a child. You get the sling shot in the first kinda dungeon because it’s very short and easy. Their actually very important to the progression of the game. until you get the boomerang and then you grow into an adult and you can’t even use the dang sling shot any more! Deku seeds they suck!

9. The Phantom Hour Glass from The Phantom Hour Glass. I know what you might be thinking if you have played this game. “Ben you NEED the Phantom Hour Glass to beat the game!!!” and yes, yes you do but it’s also kinda tedious… The reason that it is is because you get ten minutes, TEN MINUTES to beat a temple and even with the chance of getting extra 30 seconds from pots if your not lucky then you die no matter what!

8. Fairy Ocarina, Ocarina of Time. In the Ocarina of time before getting the actual Ocarina of Time you get the fairy ocarina from Saria, Links best friend. After you have collected all the spiritual stones and a cut scene with a lot of spoilers. You get the Ocarina which makes your crudy little Fairy Ocarina look like a piece of garbage because I don’t know… the Ocarina of time can control time!!!

7. Lens of truth, Link Between Worlds. The Lens of Truth Is extremely useful and in some games even necessary to beat the game. Like in Majoras Mask or Ocarina of Time but… in link between worlds it has a new look and it looks very strange kinda like your classic mustache, big nose and glasses thingy. The only thing its used for is finding “Hint Ghosts” all they do is tell you small and or cryptic hints to beat puzzles. So ya… They suck…

6. Circus Leader Mask, Majoras Mask. This Is the number one worst mask in this game that I could find. All it does is you put it on you look ugly and you cry! It doesn’t serve any kind of purpose and the side quest to get it isn’t even fun!  It’s short and all you do is go to some fish lady in a milk bar and then put on all your transformation masks and play some random notes! It’s useless there are some other useless masks but at least the side quests to get them is fun! This mask is terrible!

5. Ice arrows, Every Zelda game with Ice Arrows. The Ice arrows are so useful! Said no one ever… The Ice arrows can be fun to use at times but that doesn’t mean that they’re any good. All they’re used for is shooting things to cool them down so Link can stand on that thing for a very brief period of time… that’s all! They also use up a ton of magic power! NO ONE LIKES THEM!!!

Top Ten Favorite Video Games: (Part 2)

Welcome to part part 2 of Top Ten Favorite Video Games. Here’s a link to part one if you haven’t already seen it. CLICK ME.Part 2 GO!

#4. Super Mario 3D World: This is basically just a Mario game for the Wii U but it’s not just a side scroller. In this game the main Mario series FINALLY goes FULL 3D in a game where you don’t jump through paintings. No I am not hating on Mario 64 by the way… With tons of new and classic power ups like the tenukee leaf and the cat bell power ups this game feels like one of the fullest and most fun mario games I’ve played. Here’s the shocker… BOWSER DOESN’T KIDNAP PEACH!!! Your mind is blown… This time he has decided to capture tons of innocent little fairies. Ya, Bowser’s a jerk… So you gotta go and stop him! So go do it. Just go do it already JEEZ! You can play as one of 4 characters Mario, Luigi, Peach or Toad and If you beat the game you can play as Rosalina the Princess from Mario Galaxy. So ya it’s a great turn for the Mario franchise but still hold a firm grip on traditions from past Mario games.

#3. Super Smash Bros! for the wii u…: If you haven’t already heard of the series it’s basically a tournament of fighters, but all the fighters are Nintendo characters from Mario to Pikachu they have them ALL. Each Character has different moves but they are all usually performed by pushing or holding the joy stick on your controller, or combining one of those moves with the B button. It’s SUPER fun (see what I did there?) and you should play it! That is all…

#2. Animal Crossing New Leaf: I cannot even begin to explain how fun, bright and immersive this game is. Everything is just so calm and happy except for when you are getting chased down by bees… The goal of this game is… NOTHING!!! but that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad game. There is always something to do in Animal Crossing. It might be paying off your loan and upgrading your house. It might be gardening or starting a public works project, or redecorating the interior of your home. There is fishing, there is bug catching and tons of other random activities. You can also connect to your friend’s towns and play tons of fun mini games on a private island. It’s bound to give you hours upon hours of game play.

#1. Legend of Zelda the Wind Waker Hd: So we have finally reached the number one game on my list. Legend of Zelda the Wind Waker Hd is a Hd remake of the game that was originally for the GameCube. You know the Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time that I was talking about right? Well, this happens FAR after that game. Hyrule has been flooded in attempts to get rid of Ganondorf for good because SOMEHOW he always manages to return or be reincarnated or SOMETHING! So now you’re in a much larger area than before in Ocarina of Time but most of that area is filled with water… So that’s why you get a boat! So you do some sailing, kill some enemies, sail some more do some dungeon crawling and stuff like that! In this game you have TONS of weapon options like your bow or your sword and eventually the Master Sword. You got your boomerang, your hookshot, which is basically a fancy name for a grappling hook, you have a GIANT leaf that you can use to soar gracefully in the wind and an actual grappling hook which is a hookshot but just not as good… So that’s all I have to say about that game. If I told you any more of the plot then I would probably HAVE to tell you some spoilers and that wouldn’t be a good…

So I have completed my list! Hey, that’s something to be proud of right? So you should leave a comment on this post and maybe you could tell me what YOUR favorite video game of ALL TIME is. Also yes, I know that almost all the games on this list were Nintendo and that’s simply because I like Nintendo games. They’re light-hearted, bright and generally fun games. So that’s the end of that rambling secession. I hope you enjoyed it!
Bye – Bye!

Top 10 Favorite Video Games (Part One)!

Hey Everyone reading this!

I was thinking… Video Games! Actually I think that a lot. Maybe a little to much… Anyways you guys shouldn’t care about what goes on in my weird brain but what you SHOULD care about is video games! So I’m gonna show you my top 10 favorite video games! Maybe I’ll even show you a game that you never played before and you might even wanna go out and buy it! So let’s Go!

#10. Kirby Super Star Ultra: Being the first Video Game I ever played it had to make SOME sort of appearance on this list. First of all, because it’s a pretty good game and second of all for nostalgic purposes. This game is basically a good spin on a classic Kirby game but if you don’t already know Kirby is a small pink ball with arms and legs and he is just freaking adorable. His games are mainly focused around exploring levels and defeating bosses. Kirby attacks in MANY ways but in order to attack in those many ways he first must inhale his enemies and gain there abilities. Super Star ultra still has that aspect of the game but also has mini games and challenges stuffed in as well that can all be found in a main menu. This is a really fun game that is originally for the D.S but can be played on a 3DS or New 3DS as well.

#9. Mario Kart 8: This Is probably one of the most beloved racing games series of all time. It has racing it has Nintendo characters the new one even have dlc’s (downloadable content) like Link, bone Bowser or villagers from animal crossing. It’s a Butt ton of Fun and it’s 4 players! It’s also the Very first game I got for my Wii U on my 12th Birthday. It’s a ton of fun and it’s a great game for when you have a group of friends coming over.

#8.Dungeon Defenders 2: This is a tower defense level up as you go kind of game. You can pick from 4 different classes, Apprentice; which is a wizard that can fire magic from his many staffs. Squire; which is a mostly melee focused fighter, actually he is just melee. Monk; which is like the squire in some ways but also different he is just special and he looks like ang from avatar or Huntress which fights with a bow and arrow. In this game you progress through many different levels and try to defend one or many random things. Sometimes you are defending an old man sometimes you are defending dragon eggs. It’s for computer and it’s free! PLAY IT!

#7. Minecraft: Ok if you haven’t heard of this game then you have probably been living under a rock! Or this game isn’t popular where you are, either way it is SUPER popular. I have seen like 5 and 6 year olds wearing Minecraft Tees. Anyways! Minecraft is an action adventure game where you explore a world made ENTIRELY of blocks and pixels. You are put into a randomly generated world or you can put in a world seed which generates a certain world. Or you can play on a multiplayer server like Mineplex or Cubecraft. You could also pay a subscription to get something called Realms and you can invite your friends that have the game to play in your world.

#6. Mario Maker: This is basically a Mario game but the twist is… You make the levels! Yes you heard me, you MAKE the levels. There is also a place where you can access levels other people made from online. You start off with some basic materials like bricks, question blocks, mushrooms stuff like that. You gain more materials the more you use the ones that you already have. That’s all I gotta say about Mario maker… YAY!!!

#5. Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time: That’s a long title! First of all, by many this game holds the title of best video game ever made. I am not one of those people. Although it’s still a REALLY good game if it wasn’t it wouldn’t be on this list. You are a 9 year old boy named Link or whatever you wanna name your self. You are sent on an EPIC adventure by a giant talking tree called the Great Deku Tree, to slay the Evil Gerudo thief known a Ganondorf. He plans to unite the three ancient and magical items known as the Triforce and rule the land that the game takes place in known as Hyrule. You must travel through time by taking the Magic sword known as the Master Sword out it’s pedestal and travel 7 Years into the future and Defeat the dark lord Ganon. It’s open world and it’s SUPER FUN. Play it! Oh ya and it has a remake for the 3DS and Wii U.

To be continued in part two…

 

Remembrance Day Poem- Dark, Dark Night

In this striking nighttime photograph taken behind Canadian lines at Vimy Ridge, a British naval gun fires in support of the Canadian attack. Approximately 1,000 Allied guns and mortars pounded the ridge prior to the assault, a period called by the German defenders the “week of suffering.”

 

Dark, Dark Night

The naval gun fires in the dark, dark night.
The soldiers watch as the mortar shell flies.
The sounds of explosions and and smell of gunpowder fill the air.
What did they feel like when the explosion faded away?
When the sun rises and the guns rest

will the soldiers remember what they did that night?
Or move on and continue the fight?
Will they Remember the sound of the cannons?
Will you remember the ones who died?

By: Ben